Post by OH MY GOD IT'S TAAAAI! ;D on Feb 14, 2009 20:54:17 GMT -5
[/b] So! Mr. Half-Breed, let me put this clearly - who are you and what do you want with us!?!
March 2nd, 2014
Okay, so I'm sure all of us in the Shinigami Realm already know about these so called "Half-Breeds" running amok in our beautiful wasteland, and let me tell you - it's trouble! Luckily we banished most of them, but rumor has had it that Au is still out there, lurking about and making these fiends! I'm sure most of you have read my other report, which is good, 'cos that's where I put all my information from when Itorturedinterviewed the Half-Breed Matt! I never showed you guys that interview, but let me tell you, it was a spine tingler! Humans are pathetic on their own, but when they're mysterious? Holy shit! They're bad.
Don't believe me? Well look! Look!
Mr. Half-Breed: Take a chill-pill, creeper. And it's Matt, not Mister Whatever-The-Fuck. And I don't want anything from you. I'm just kind confu----
Tai: I KNOW YOU'RE AFTER THE FAMED SHINIGAMI TREASURE! ALL HUMANS ARE!
Matt: Shinigami... treasure? Chillax. Seriously - you're giving me a headache. And I'm not a human anymore, I think. I mean, I burned myself with a cigarette yesterday, and it didn't hurt so---
Tai: CIGARETTES!? HOW'D YOU GET THEM?
Matt: I have no idea.
Tai: WELL THAT ANSWERS MY QUESTIONS. ANYWAY, SO, DO YOU THINK YOU CAN STILL HAVE KIDS?
Matt: ....Lady. Really. This is fucking stu---
Tai: ANSWER THE QUESTION!
Matt: Well it's not like I'm castrated or anything, so sure. I mean, Zeus had kids, and the Christian God too... so wh--
Tai: So you're saying you might be a god?!
Matt: What I'm saying is that I don't know. I me---
Tai: Do you have any hobbies!?
Matt: ...Forget it. Fuck you, lady. I'm out.[/ul]
And that concluded my interview! Don't you see? Scary guy!
Anyway, on to the real news! I was watching the roads around the mountains like I normally do, and there come this... this... Half-Breed! Just waltzing all along like it was nobody's business. I would have showed myself, but I thought that might just ruin the surprise. The mysterious Half-Breed looked exactly like a human, and didn't seem to have an unusual traits, thank goodness.
But this just proves that Au is up to his tricks again, and that we'd all better keep an eye out for his experiments. Who knows what he'll do next? I swear, there are just some people that I can't get into.
Well, it does make one thing clear - there is one Half-Breed open for applications. Whatever that means.
This is Tai, with the Shinigami News, over and out![/sub][/blockquote]