behind |||Jareth||| the wall

[[Shoe, baby! ♥~];;]

**picture credit to moncloa on deviantart. c:
TEMPORARY PICTURE YES NO MAYBE?

"i have no mouth and i must scream"

[welcome, welcome, do have a seat...]:

Good day to you, I'm delighted to meet your acquantice. Please, do take a seat - oh, anywhere is fine. Might I reccomend the red armchair by the fire? Yes, the one with the matching plush cushion on top. No, I do not think th-- Oh, Fiver! Please, do not sit on him! He is such an oaf. I do believe that the time inside has softened him - which is extremely odd for rabbits. No matter, he is in my arms now, see? Yes, he is fine, do not worry! - it is all water under the bridge, as they say. Tea?
...
.......
Here you are. I let it steep for about six minutes, is that to your liking? Sugar? I do tend to have a spoonful myself, but this is simply too luxurious to spoil - in my opinion anyway.
......
................
I never did get your name, by-the-by. Oh? That's what you are after? My name? Oh, how dreadful to think I had forgotten! You see, I get into the moment and... well, you know how it can get. Please, excuse me. I am called Jareth Auden, now, doesn't it feel better to have all those awkward introductions out of the way? Ah, do you need a spoon for that, love?

[do you think we ought to make that more comfortable..?]:

Hmm? Jareth is a little too... much for your tastes? Well, I sincerely apologize - but it is not my fault. Parents, I am sure you are aware. -chuckles-

Though, it is my great displeasure to inform you that I do not currently possess any of these so called 'nick-names.' I suppose people think that Jareth is perfectly acceptable, and there is no use trying to shorten it. A man of my standards cannot live with 'cute,' demeaning taunts such as "Jerry," "Jar-head," "Rethy," et cetera. Most of my clients tend to call me "Mr. Auden" or simply "Auden" - in an attempt that I can only see as striving to earn my favor. However! I quite dislike being called by my surname, and would downright prefer it if you simply called me Jareth. It does give an air of camaraderie, wouldn't you agree?
.....
.............
Oh, you assumed a man of my status would hold an ensamble of 'fake' names that I would prefer to be called? You are not shedding light on that daft Kira incidence, surely? No matter, no matter, here, let us talk. I did not fear Kira - and I still don't, mind you - so I found it of no signifigance to play 'secret agent' like a child and disguise my real name. Whatever harm could possibly come to me for giving you my name, of all things? It was simply ridiculous - watching my closest business partners change their names to rubbish, all in the name of paranoia! Simply cowardly, if I do say so myself. Besides, how can I uphold my image as a character of virtue if I break my own rule and lie about something? Simply disgraceful. Would you like honey for that tea, love?

[now, about my age..]:

Hm, I suppose it is difficult to imagine a person like myself as young - being so dreadfully accomplished. In any case, I am thirty-two years old - not quite what one usually expects, but fine non-the-less. I haven't lost my charm of looks yet, have I? Oh, terribly sorry! I didn't mean to come across as vain. Quite an accident, but you understand, correct? Ah, good. Would you like a refill of your tea, perhaps?

[...can you not tell?!]:

Ah-hem!? Ah. Erm, excuse me - if I may be so bold... what did you just ask me? ...My.. gender...? I assure you, I am male, thank you very much. Ah.. I do not like where this is leading... could we talk about you for a moment, now? You must tire of hearing my problems, surely.

[the adventures of a mutt]:

Oh, so you still have questions for me? Please, I would not like these to drag out more than needed... eruhm. Well, it is against my code of conduct to refuse to answer a question, so I suppose I shall enlighten you on my ethnicity. Which happens to be a mystery to me, actually. I know I am British, but there is quite a mixture inside, so I cannot give you an exact heritage tree. Now, that wasn't so important, was it? No matter, would you like to hold Fiver? He is weighing on me... oh, dear, he's fallen asleep. Lazy creature.

[and don't say queens]:

Mmmm? Where I was born? Oh, that is an easy one. I'd be happy to grant you that much information - Manchester, England is where I am from - and I daresay I have a smidge of the accent. Oh, and before you call me just another who enjoys fish and chips and the ilk - I despise fried food, and it is only tea that I fall into a stereotype with. I must confess, I cannot live without it. It is one of my few vices, as they say.

[charmed]:

Well, you see, I do not particulary have a gift of languages - it took me long enough to smooth out the wrinkles in English, which I speak properly. None of that 'townie' or 'ragamuffin' speak. You know the variety, I am certain. "Whaddya doin', mistah? Lemme shine yer shoes? Aw, y'en't no fun!" That sort of poppycock... with a sort of grubby way of cursing, as well. Despicable words! How can one stand to demean their vocabularies and themselves with such language?
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.........
Oh, you ask that, since you are not speaking English, why do I understand you? Well, that is because while I cannot speak any other languages, I can understand them. Quite fluently, actually. It is just wrapping my tongue over difficult syllables, and learning how to pronounce. I can read and understand French, German, Russian, Dutch, and Cockney slang. And before you critize that last one, have you ever tried to understand it yourself? All slang is odd (for instance, what is a "G"?), but Cockneys... well, they bring it to a whole new level.
Oh, look there - you've gone and left your weasel on the floor. Could you pick it up? I do hate having clothes on the carpet - just dampens the atmosphere, you know.
....
.......
Oh, erm. Yes. I meant coat. My mistake - I apologize... it slips sometimes, you understand. I get it from my father - but enough about that.

[more trivial details]:

Hm, my birthdate? I don't suppose you want to throw me a party. Though, I'd like that very much - even if I don't act like it. Ah, right, November fifth, since you were so polite to ask.

[....what was the question again...?]:

....Excuse me!?
.......
I believe I heard you incorrectly - are you honestly inquiring about my sexuality?
....
.......a standard procedure!?!
Oh, how sickeningly appalling! How bloody typical! Dash it all to sod! The writers of these 'typical questions' must be bloody daft - or out of their blasted minds! They need to hear how bloody prying this all is! I'll write a letter to them, that's what I'll do! A long, detailed, frantic letter - and don't think I won't! This... this... this is.... This is completely uncalled for..!
.......
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Calm down? Just a question? Oh, erm.
Yes, quite.
I do apologize - you see, I do not normally drift off like that - it is rather idiotic looking, isn't it? Oh, and I've gone and woken Fiver up with my yelling. How droll! Once again, you have my sincerest apologies....
.....
........Answer the question? Well, I suppose I should....
You see, I don't often get asked that sort of thing - you merely took me by surprise, you understand. I, erm... suppose I should give you a respectable answer....
I, um, am... a homo... ermm.. sexual....
You won't go blabbering about that, surely? Good, good. Let me get you a fresh cup of that tea - you're running out. Here, hold Fiver a minute....

[the companions of a socially deprived extrovert]:

[/u].[/b]

Lyra Walker - Mother - sixty-one: Oh, mother! How I do love her! So dear she is to my heart. Now, I will not bore you with all the details, but I am quite the mama's boy at heart - I still keep in touch with her, send her photos, give her rabbit kits when she requests, invite her to stay at my vacation homes - you know, the sonly things. She's taught me most of everything, she has! Very refined lady - I've learned all my manners and speech patterns from her, you'll know. And so charming! More so than I, rest assured.

Scott Auden - Father - sixty-six: And my father! He is quite the tramp - a true London-man, born and bred. You can catch it by his accent, and slang; just have to listen for a minute. Very intelligent - set up Auden's, and was the heir to a large criminal business that I now run. Quite a fine man - has an odd affinity for dogs, though. And mangos. Nasty things!

Friends.

Fiver - Pet Rabbit - three: My large, fluffy French Angora rabbit. Extremely affectionate, shy, and lazy. Also handsome as can be - isn't that right, Fivey? And before you yell at me like a loon about being "money obsessed," I'll have you know that I took this name from my favorite book. Watership Down, naturally, but don't go telling people about it. There was another that I was tempted to use, but him being bleach white and all, I couldn't quite name him Hazel, now could I?

The Thirty-Five Other Rabbits: Kept outside during the fall and spring, in their own warren, and let inside during the extreme seasons, as so they won't be hurt. Divine creatures! English Cottontails, for anyone wondering.

People I've Read About in the Newspaper.

Kira: Some bloody oaf that's going about killing people through means of heart attack. People claimed that he was god, but that's just poppycock. Didn't act like one. No, a true god creates and destroys - even Hades, Satan, and lesser gods of myth could do both. Pathetic fool, if you ask me. Haven't heard from him for a good few years, though, so I have no complaints.

L: A chap set out to capture said bloody oaf through... trickery and murder, I presume. Rather daft, in my opinion. Still, I suppose the bloke tried.

Those Skyder Chaps: A load of criminals that wish to overthrow Kira, as if he was ever a threat. Once again, a bunch of loons, but I sell to them, so I don't mind. Much. I do wish they would stop beating the dead horses, though.

Those Sakura Fellows: A load of buffoons trying to take the world in the direction of their cultish god - namely, Kira. Bloody fools, especially since their "god" is inactive at the moment. The entire lot of them needs a hobby.

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[forgotten things since they've been gone..]:

Ah, here you are - a fresh cup of tea before you go. It is quite awful that we had to cut this short, but we both understand the nature of things. I am a very busy man, and I am sure you are a very busy person yourself. My, I still find it surprising that I had time to break schedule and speak with you - not that I am complaining, you are quite interesting! Well, I do think this is good-bye for....
Oh, what is it that I do?
Why, I operate one of the largest black markets in Europe, and also the owner of a successful equipment agency. You've heard of it, surely? Auden's? Well, technically it is my father's, but he lets me host it - as I generate the most profits. I sell to the police, governments, mafia, small time criminals - whoever. I do not care, business is business, in any case. You see, I gain protection through Auden's - why would the police like to shut down the man who gives them all their outfits and guns? I suppose they could find a new man for their supply - but that is a hassle. Besides, they quite like me. No matter, no matter.
....Who do I supply to? To name? Well, that is confidential - but let us just say, if that Kira bloke was half as competent as that L chap makes him out to be, he would have learned my name and killed me by now, wot!
...What do I want to do? Well, erm, odd that you should ask. You see, I don't quite know.... You see, my work is my life - as dreary as that sounds. Right now I've been traveling to expand my business - I'm right across the pond right now, so to speak. I only do things for my work, it seems - keep my health, stay awake, kill people, make new designs, hole myself in my house - all sorts of nasty affairs. I only have two lives outside of it, and that would be my thirty-six rabbits, and three fine horses. I suppose I would like... to find something else. Something... worth living... for.
That's it then? Well, alright. I'll take that teacup back now... oh, and do hand me Fiver back, please, he's edging towards me - poor dear! Wants to be with his father again. Can't blame the chap. Here, you would like some coffee for the road, surely? I set aside a thermos for you....
Take care, and don't drink the entire thing in one gulp! Savor it... luvvy.

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